-about me leaving the hardcore scene in 2004

my story

okay as some of you know i disappeared from the hardcore scene in early 2004 and came back only 2008... while i
said this was due to personal problems so far i never told what had happened, but i felt i should do...

this might not be interesting to a lot of people, so don't read it if you are not... but i felt i should write
this down, since a lot of people asked me what had happened...

when the experimental hardcore scene ceased to exist somewhen after 2000, i felt into a deep hole. the thing
i dedicated most of my energy to for the last years had gone up in flames and vanished. with this emptiness
inside, my interest eventually drifted to the field of esotericism and spirituality. i dived deep and deeper into
this whole thing then... magic, occultism, satanism... ignoring the warnings of my friends. after some time and by
a chain of events i ended up in a very hard christian sect. i nearly found death then. i'm not exaggerating here.
as my family said back then, "you were already closer to dying then you were to living".
i still have not fully recovered from all of this stuff, but i'm trying my best to do.

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